Super K Board

Soul Mates

For me, it still comes down to my philosophy that there is no single soul mate for someone. There is no perfect match. People are conflicted and flippant, so to think that there's one person that can meet all that we want seems, well, impossible.

Rather I always believed that there are maybe a hundred or so "ones" out there - the ones that you can spend the rest of your lives together in happiness, the one's who can make you smile day-in, day-out. The one's that can touch your heart.

But the chance of meeting these "one's" are still pretty slim. You may never meet one, you may meet one (and think it's your soul mate) or you may be lucky enough to meet a few.

Looking back, I have to say that I've been lucky to meet probably a few. The one that I marry may very well not be the one, but there's so much of her that I appreciate that she is one of those that have become "one", but not a natural "one" if that makes sense.

The other two would have to be Ja- and Je-...coincidentally both with J's (never thought of that). Yet the two are so different.

With Ja-, I could imagine myself traveling the world, discussing, debating, trying all sorts of things and challenging each other. We would have our own lives as well and it would just be a very fulfilling relationship on most fronts, with a lot of conversation.

With Je-, since we can barely communicate anyway, it seems I can see myself just staying in one place and doing whatever. Sitting at home on the couch all day - walk in a market the whole afternoon, lay by a swimming pool for a morning, watch the sunset...I guess you can say, she calms me.

But I could never see their traits combined in one. And there are other traits from people that I can see myself connecting with.

Will I be unfortunate enough to meet another one of the "ones"? I always hope so, but also know the torment of meeting one when you cannot be together. Maybe that's part of what makes them the "one".

And maybe, just maybe, there is actually that one soul mate out there, but just that most of us are never lucky enough to meet.

But for now, I count my blessings for the ones that I have met. As heartwrenching as it may be at times.

Married with children

Well, got back in touch with the girl from highschool, and in her e-mail she told me that she's been married for over two years now and has an 18-month old kid. While I have many friends from highschool who have had children, with her it's just very difficult to picture...afterall the last time I talked to her and saw her was over 10 years ago, just out of highschool. So the mental image of her is frozen at the age of 18. She might be coming through HK in January, but I always wonder if it's a good thing to see someone after so long, especially when you haven't seen them at all in between. Will it ruin the memory of that person who has always held a special place in your heart?

I finished reading Haruki Murakami's "Norwegian Wood" on the plane ride back from London. In the story two of the characters commit suicide, and the narrator mentioned how life goes on for the living, but the dead will always remain 17 and 20 (in the story). So as the living continue to age, how can the memory not start to blur? It's like going back to highschool now, you cannot deny the generation gap and the difference age and experience has made. Perhaps that's why some people decide to take their own lives, so they can be immortally remembered at that point in time.

Off on a tangent now...

But then again it would seem that we are really strangers to ourselves as well. I mean when I think of myself at 18, while obviously I still have a lot of the same nuances and personality traits that I had then, if I put the 18 me and the current me side by side, how different would they actually be? Quite different I would think. Since we have no choice but to be hurled forward in time, the 18 year old me will always be a great memory of what I once was, while I continue to move further away from that me.

You know, I'm not really a spatial thinker so I don't know why I'm thinking of this in these terms. But I guess the point is, I would definitely like to see her, as I in general will always embrace what is here now and what will come. Because no matter what happens, it's always my choice to keep those good memories of the past safe, even if time tends to color our view on memories...